My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
