from now on my penis is your penis
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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