apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
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I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
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Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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