Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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