he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
