i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
