i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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