i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
