Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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