One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
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its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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