woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
