why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
