I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
