so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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