Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
