Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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