this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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