I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
