Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
