You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
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