honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
