Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
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I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
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It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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