Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just high enough for therapy.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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