i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Dignity is for republicans.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
