its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
