sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
