At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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