My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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