Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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