when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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