Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
