i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
