i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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