when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
