maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
