i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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