so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
