I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
