It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
