I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize