went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
