I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
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He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
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And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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