Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
