just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
