he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
