She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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