Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
