flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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