My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I wish they made helmets for livers.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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