her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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