so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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