just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I am midnight drunk by noon
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
