Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
