how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
