D3 body, D1 cock
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
