im gay
i know
yea but for you.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Randomize
