If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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