Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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