is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
