Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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