We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
