There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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