My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
