that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
