You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
i think i just lost a toe
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize