remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
