Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
