Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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