Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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