There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
