btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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